I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
