I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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