on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
