grandma shit on top of the toilet
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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