I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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