she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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