wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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