OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
