He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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