my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
