im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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