Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
God, I missed his penis.
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