i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
