I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
