I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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