We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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