dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
