You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
