She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
