do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
