To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
