ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize