i really wish james franco would like my vagina
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
