mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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