why didn't you poke me back
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
not ubering you a puppy
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
