We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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