problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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