Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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