Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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