You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
