Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
