There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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