At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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