He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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