would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
