i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
