When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
