The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
