I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
