I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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