Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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