am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
