I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
