I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
