found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
