he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
