why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
