My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my poor anus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
