i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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