I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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