I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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