i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
