3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
