The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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