I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
