Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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