You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
