On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i would punch a child for taco bell
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize