I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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