Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
