please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize