I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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