Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So squirting runs in the family.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
