i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
