and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
