from now on my penis is your penis
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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