so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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