Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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