this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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