Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
