she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
