im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
